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Latest Surrogacy News
Birth of change
Thanks to medical and
legal advances, Sadie Karpay-Brody has two mothers who both
are her natural parents
 |
Ellen Karpay-Brody, left, and
Lisha Karpay-Brody pose with their daughter, Sadie
Margaret. The parenting process began with one of
Lisha's eggs being fertilized, then implanted in
Ellen, who gave birth to the child.
Sacramento Bee/Anne Chadwick
Williams |
By Cynthia Hubert --
Bee
Staff Writer
Published 2:15 a.m. PST Sunday, November 2, 2003
In many important ways,
Ellen and Lisha Karpay-Brody's relationship is as
traditional as June and Ward Cleaver's fictional TV
marriage.
They have been friends for
14 years and life partners for three. They share a last name
and a commitment to be together forever. They own a home in
a leafy Sacramento neighborhood.
When they decided to have a
baby, the women wanted the child to be biologically and
legally tied to both of them, as the offspring of
heterosexual couples are bound to their parents.
Recently they realized their dream, thanks to medical
technology and a legal system that is adapting to society's
changing definition of families.
The result is 12-week-old
Sadie Margaret Karpay-Brody, who was created from Lisha's
egg and a donor's sperm, and carried and delivered by Ellen.
A Superior Court judge has declared that both women are
"natural" parents to the child, and Sadie's birth
certificate will reflect that decision.
The arrangement, possibly
the first of its kind in Sacramento County, reflects forces
that are transforming the definition of family in America.
Increasingly, gay and lesbian couples are having babies,
adopting children and seeking to obtain rights as parents,
and the courts are responding in their favor.
"Two people in a committed,
monogamous relationship who are raising a child together is
my definition of a family, regardless of gender," said
Shannon Minter, legal director for the National Center for
Lesbian Rights in San Francisco. "This is the new frontier."
Society's evolving
acceptance of homosexual couples as parents has been
reflected in recent court decisions around the country in
which judges have ruled that sexual orientation should not
matter in defining parental roles. Although laws vary widely
across the nation on matters related to domestic
partnerships and parenting, about half of all states now
allow "second parent" adoptions for gay and lesbian couples,
in which the unmarried partner of a child's biological
parent becomes the youngster's second, legal parent.
California lawmakers this year passed a measure that is at
the forefront of efforts nationwide to significantly expand
the rights of gay couples on many levels, including child
custody.
Not everyone is celebrating
the increasingly liberal definitions of what makes a family.
"We have children who are
being used as guinea pigs for those who want to blow apart
the institutions of marriage and parenthood, institutions
that have been respected for centuries," said Randy
Thomasson, executive director of Campaign for California
Families, a statewide lobbying group that opposes broader
marital and parental rights for gay couples. "People are
attacking these institutions for their own selfish aims."
Ellen, 44, is a competitive
athlete who owns a fitness and nutrition counseling business
and writes an occasional column for The Bee. She and Lisha,
34, a former police officer and fraud investigator, decided
they wanted a child together shortly after they became a
couple about three years ago. The vast majority of lesbian
couples who have babies do so through artificial
insemination; only the woman who carries the child is
considered the natural parent. In these cases, the other
partner often obtains legal rights to the child through
adoption.
So that their baby would be
both legally and biologically tied to both of them, the two
women pursued in-vitro fertilization, in which Lisha's egg
was fertilized with donor sperm and implanted into Ellen's
body. Before Ellen became pregnant, the couple combined
their last names and legally became domestic partners.
"This seemed like a
wonderful way for us to have a family," Ellen said. "How
much more loving and intimate can you get than to have a
baby together?"
Through their lawyer, Jane
Pearce, the couple sought a court declaration establishing
that both would be the baby's natural mothers.
"Thousands of adoptions
have been done in California where one woman is inseminated
and the other adopts the child," Pearce said. "The twist
here was that both women were biologically mothers of the
child, and you cannot adopt your own child."
Sacramento Family Court
Judge Michael Ullman granted the women's petition, ruling
that under the Uniform Parentage Act both were natural
parents and the child had "no legal, presumed or alleged
father." The couple obtained the sperm to create Sadie
through a sperm bank, and the donor has given up all rights
to the child.
For the Karpay-Brodys,
their status as Sadie's biological and legal parents is more
than just symbolic. It allows them many of the same rights
and privileges as heterosexual parents. It resolves such
issues as child support, inheritance rights, hospital
visitation and access to health insurance, and ensures that
Sadie would be guaranteed support payments if the two women
split up, or if one were to die.
"It also makes things
simpler in terms of dealing with things like schools and
doctor's offices," Pearce said. "Essentially, it allows them
to be viewed as family. It's a redefinition of family."
To her knowledge, Pearce
said, the Karpay-Brody case represents the first time in
Sacramento County that both members of a lesbian couple who
conceived through in-vitro fertilization have acquired
"natural parent" status from a court.
More lesbian couples than
ever are seeking children through in-vitro fertilization,
although they still represent a small fraction of IVF cases,
said Dr. Richard Paulson, director of the fertility program
at the University of Southern California and one of the
nation's top researchers in the field.
"I think it's very
appealing to a same-sex couple to have the opportunity to
literally have a child together like this, with one having a
genetic connection and the other a gestational one," said
Paulson. "But I don't expect it to happen very often,
primarily because of the cost."
IVF, in which a human egg
is removed from the donor's body, fertilized in a laboratory
dish and transferred into the uterus, costs about $10,000
per attempt, he said. Artificial insemination, in which a
woman's eggs are fertilized within her body while she is
ovulating, costs about $1,000 per attempt and is equally
successful.
Although specific numbers
are elusive, millions of gay couples are raising children in
the United States, and they are becoming more aggressive
about seeking parental rights, said Suzanne Johnson, a
professor of psychology at Dowling College in New York who
with her life partner wrote "The Gay Baby Boom: The
Psychology of Gay Parenthood."
"In the past, most gay
parents were people who had been married, had children,
divorced and then came out of the closet," said Johnson, who
is raising two daughters with her partner, psychologist
Elizabeth O'Connor. "The trend that we're seeing now is
quite different. What is exploding is the phenomenon of
primary gay families, which are monogamous, stable
relationships between two men or two women who then bring
children in. In essence it's the standard, old-fashioned
nuclear family, with a difference."
At least three recent cases
before the California Court of Appeal involve custody
disputes between gay partners, said Minter. One involves
twin girls conceived through in-vitro fertilization. When
the parents, who did not have a court declaration that both
were natural mothers, separated six years later, the birth
mother cut off her former partner's access to the children.
The partner has asked the courts to intervene.
A new state law, AB 205,
which gives gay domestic partners broader rights, will help
clarify custody arrangements in such cases, said Minter.
"It will make it crystal
clear, finally, that when two women or two men have a child
together through assisted reproduction, they are both
automatically legal parents," he said.
Thomasson's organization is
fighting the law, scheduled to take effect in January 2005.
"If a person's gender no
longer is a requirement for marriage or parenthood, why in
the world should there be any other standards?" he asked.
"We are blowing the lid off of any common-sense definition
of family, and it's getting ridiculous."
The Karpay-Brodys said
their new status as parents has elicited an overwhelmingly
positive reaction from friends and relatives. Neighbors
threw a baby shower for them. Ellen's mother, Bobbe Karpay,
traveled from Florida to be at her daughter's bedside during
Sadie's birth. Relatives from all over the country are
sending gifts and clamoring for photos.
Lisha, who had planned to
return to work shortly after Sadie was born, has decided
instead to be a stay-at-home mom. The couple have remodeled
their east Sacramento home to accommodate their daughter,
accumulated an abundance of stuffed animals and other toys
and adorned her bedroom with "Peanuts" wallpaper. Ellen and
Lisha take turns getting up in the middle of the night to
tend to Sadie, who is robust at 16 pounds and just starting
to smile.
Logistically, all that
remains to be done is an alteration in Sadie's birth
certificate, which for now lists Ellen as "mother" and Lisha
as "father." The state Department of Vital Statistics is
expected to reissue the certificate soon, listing each woman
as "parent," the couple said.
In the meantime, the couple
have happily settled into their new life.
"We look at Sadie and know
that she is a part of both of us," Lisha said, cuddling the
baby. "We know that we are a family."
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