CIRCLE OF LIFE

May 21 2004 By Sharon Feinstein Mirror

SHE describes it, matter-of-factly, as the "completion of a circle". But the story behind the little pregnancy bump Jayne Frankland is cradling is much more remarkable than that.

Nine years ago, Jayne, 38, had to turn to another woman to give her and her husband a much-wanted baby.

After a decade of unexplained infertility, and constant disappointment on the gruelling treadmill of IVF and hormone treatment, the couple turned to surrogacy. Little Abigail was the answer to their dreams.

Now, after an amazing turn of events, Jayne is pregnant again... but carrying the baby for someone else.

She is the first woman in Britain to become a surrogate after needing that same help herself.

And she insists that when she hands over the tot, which is due in November, she will be repaying the incredible debt of having been given a child herself.

"Some people are concerned that I'll feel a great sense of loss after the birth and they wonder how I'll be able to hand over the baby.

"But seeing somebody have the joy I've been given is enough for me.

"Afterwards, I'll be really pleased about helping someone to achieve what I've achieved.

"Doing this for somebody is amazing. You give them a family. You change their life. I, of all people, know just what that means."

Because of their problems in conceiving, Jayne thought she and her husband Mark were unable to have children.

They had started trying for a baby soon after they married but 10 years later were still childless, despite every medical intervention possible.

Their quest to be parents became increasingly desperate. Jayne gave up a promising career in the Civil Service when she was warned that stress could stop her falling pregnant.

At one point, she even considered suicide because she felt so hopeless.

Surrogacy seemed their final option.

After Abigail arrived, however, the unimaginable happened. Just when they were settling into family life, Jayne was stunned to find herself pregnant.

And from that point on, her fertility was never in question, because the couple, who live in Ross-on-Wye, near Hereford, now have three children who were conceived naturally, as well as Abigail.

Sam, five, Charlie, three, and one-year-old Betty have completed their family.

For most women, the story would have ended there but Jayne never forgot the feeling of being unable to carry her own child.

After much soul-searching, she decided that she simply had to offer her own womb - and her eggs - to a woman in need.

In another twist, the intended parents - a teacher and accountant from Oxfordshire - already have a child born through surrogacy. The couple, Lynne and Richard, had already been through the emotional experience with another mother in order to have their daughter Isabel, now five.

And they leapt at Jayne's offer to carry another child for them.

"We were mixing with people at the group Surrogacy UK and it was very much in my mind," explains Jayne. "It seemed like the most natural thing for one woman to help another.

"I don't regard it as giving away a baby because that is very negative. I say I'm sharing my fertility.

"I explained to the children that I was going to do what had been done for Abigail. They're only very young but they took it on board. Now when I ask them what's in my tummy, they say: 'It's Auntie Lynne's baby and we're just looking after it.' Abi proudly told her class: 'My mummy's having a baby for somebody else. She's a surrogate mother.'"

It is undoubtedly a complicated situation but because all the parties involved have been through a similar process before, they are relaxed about the implications.

Jayne insists that even Abigail knows all about the circumstances of her birth.

"She doesn't feel any different to the other three children. She feels very much part of this family. Yes, she would have liked to have been in my tummy but she knows it just wasn't possible at that time."

Mark, 43, is equally happy with the situation.

"He's not affected by the fact that I'm carrying another man's baby," says Jayne. "He feels he couldn't deny me doing this when someone has done it for us.

"He would have felt very selfish - particularly with us being able to have three children naturally."

Both families have formed a special bond since taking the decision to proceed with the surrogacy.

"Lynne has shed tears of joy at my scans, which makes me realise how special this is for them.

"She is going to be with me at the birth and Richard will be waiting outside."

It would be hard to find someone more positive about surrogacy than Jayne. She has been violently ill during this pregnancy but insists that the desire to help another woman makes up for any inconvenience.

"There have been times when I've been sick all day and when my children come home from school I don't want to cook them anything because I can't bear to smell the food.

"But however ill I feel, I realise how lucky I am to be pregnant. I keep thinking, at least I am able to experience this - the woman I'm doing it for can never feel like this. She'd love to feel ill.

"I remember when people used to moan about being pregnant when I couldn't have a baby, so I'm always careful not to moan in front of Lynne.

"And I know that for every bit of sickness I'm experiencing, someone else will experience the joy 10 times over."

Many assume that surrogate mothers are motivated, at least in part, by money - although the law states that they can only be paid expenses. But in Jayne's case this is obviously not true.

She and her family live in a six-bed country cottage house, set in one-and-a-half acres. It is a home designed for children. In the garden is a giant trampoline and tree house, a slide and swings. There are three cars in the driveway.

"I'm certainly not going to benefit financially," admits Jayne. "It's a selfless act, really."

Husband Mark, an IT manager, agrees. "To receive and to give are two nice things. To give in the same way as we've received is a very fulfilling thing for us - something no one else will have."

Jayne adds: "Having been given a surrogate child was like a miracle and now we can do that for somebody else. It's a circle of life completed." Lynne and Richard are delighted that the Franklands are making such a huge sacrifice.

THIS couple also knows what it's like to go through years of hopelessness in the bid for parenthood.

Lynne, 43, says: "Before we had Isabel, I was distraught - to the extent that it was very hard for me to look at people with babies. Being a primary school teacher didn't help.

"When we had Isabel, everything changed.

"I went from despair and feeling that I didn't fit into society, to being totally fulfilled and a whole woman.

"I hadn't thought about having a second child until Isabel was _ a bit older but that primeval longing started up again.

"We also felt it would be good for Isabel to have another child at home to relate to.

"Now Jayne and I have a brilliant relationship. We've met at each other's home socially, we took time to get to know each other and we get on very well.

"I'm ecstatic that I'm having another baby. It's another miracle in our lives."