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Latest Surrogacy News
Couple's heartbreak
after snub by adoption service
Apr 16 2004 By Jessica
Shaughnessy,
Chester Chronicle
A COUPLE
desperate to adopt have been left childless while dozens
of youngsters need a loving home.
Two weeks after
Cheshire County Council appealed through The Chronicle
for a home for two boys, Ceri and Keith Pemberton have
spoken of their struggle to start a family.
They say they
have been overlooked because of Ceri's medical problems,
but were put forward to adopt a child with cerebral
palsy.
'It's double
standards,' said the couple, of Melrose Avenue, Vicars
Cross. 'If they thought we were not fit to care for a
child without physical problems, why did they think we
might be fit to care for one with disabilities?'
Ceri, 32, and
Keith, 48, a warehouse worker, began the adoption
process three years ago after IVF treatment failed .
'I was desperate
to have children,' said Ceri. 'I have always loved them.
Even when I was young I just wanted a husband, a house
and four kids.'
The couple say
social workers warned them adoption panels did not look
kindly on would-be-parents who were over-weight or took
anti-depressants.
When they went
before the panel, the decision was split, but eventually
they were passed.
Ceri said: 'I am
overweight, which is partly because of my illness, and I
am on anti-depressants because I have been through a lot
over the years.
'I had an
emergency operation to have my large intestine removed
and there is scar tissue on my uterus, ovaries and
fallopian tubes.
'I was devastated
when I discovered I could not have children.
'My doctor says
people who have been through half as much need
anti-depressants. He wrote to the panel to tell them I
am not a depressive.
'I just want a
child. If I could have children I would feel my life is
complete and I wouldn't need anti-depressants.'
Ceri and Keith
attended workshops and meetings for prospective adopters
and put their names forward to adopt a number of
children.
But even though
all the other couples in their group got children, Ceri
and Keith were never matched.
Ceri said: 'We
kept hearing the same things over and over again about
anti-depressants and being overweight.
'Then a child
with cerebral palsy came up. We were prepared to adopt a
child with some difficulties but felt that we had to
find out the extent of the child's disabilities before
we went ahead.
'Despite our
hesitations our name was put forward. Eventually we had
to ask to be withdrawn, even though we had never given
the go-ahead.'
After this
incident Ceri and Keith received a visit from their
social worker.
'She told us she
thought we should withdraw as it was doing too much
damage to my health,' said Ceri.
'The whole thing
knocked our confidence. We were constantly being told we
were not fit to be parents.'
The couple are
now considering surrogacy using embryos left over from
IVF. A friend has already volunteered to carry their
child for them.
A county council
spokesman said: 'In some cases the couple felt they were
not a suitable match for the child, while on other
occasions they were not selected for short-listing.
'The reasons for
this are confidential between the authority concerned
and Mr and Mrs Pemberton.
'We understand
that the failure to be matched with a child has been
distressing for the couple and we have discussed with
them the possibility of de-registration.
'We would welcome
the opportunity to discuss further the options open to
them.'
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