It's a King Solomon tale with a 21st century twist --
two women battling in court over the same children.
Science says both women are the biological mothers of
7-year-old fraternal twins -- one provided the eggs, the
other carried the girls to term. And the women raised
the twins as a couple until they broke up nearly two
years ago.
While science sees it one way, the courts see it
another and so far have awarded parental rights and
custody solely to the birth mother.
But come January, the issue lands in the lap of the
California Court of Appeal, and observers say the
court's ruling could have far-reaching implications for
lesbian rights, in vitro fertilization and parental
custody laws.
The appeal stems from a ruling in October, when Marin
County Superior Court Commissioner Randolph Heubach
found that the egg donor had made an express promise
before the babies were born that her partner would be
the sole mother.
She even signed a hospital document waiving her right
as a parent. For that reason, Heubach ruled that the
donor, identified in court records only as K.M., had no
standing. (To protect the privacy of children, family
court does not release the full names of parties
involved in cases.)
K.M. is challenging that ruling to the First District
Court of Appeal in San Francisco. And Dr. Marcelle
Cedars, director for the Center for Reproductive Health
at UC San Francisco, where K.M. and her partner E.G.
were patients, is closely watching to see what the
appeals court does.
"It's unfortunate that one of the problems with our
specialty is that it presents complex issues without a
societal road map," she said. "The outcome of this case
may better prepare us for these types of issues in the
future."
On a day in 1995, K.M. sat in a reception room at the
UCSF clinic waiting to have her eggs harvested for the
in vitro procedure. An administrator handed her a
clipboard with a few routine documents, including
information about her medical history, to sign. At the
bottom of the stack was a form waiving her right as a
parent. K.M. says she unthinkingly signed it.
Her partner had been trying to get pregnant for some
time and couldn't produce eggs, K.M. said. Because of
fibroid cysts on her uterus, K.M. wasn't able to carry a
child. So the women's doctors suggested that E.G.
consider in vitro fertilization with her partner's ovum,
said K.M.'s attorney, Jill Hersh of San Francisco. And
the women agreed.
"We were so involved in the process that when you're
told to sign something, you do it," K.M. said the other
day, referring to the waiver. "We were planning our life
with children and not thinking that we would ever break
up."
The women met in 1992, moved in with each other two
years later and registered with the city of San
Francisco as domestic partners. By the next year, they
were turning the dining room in their one-bedroom flat
into a nursery, painting baby furniture and picking out
wall colors. They were also searching for a larger house
to buy for their new family, which they eventually
purchased in Marin County.
When the babies were born four weeks prematurely, the
couple stayed with them in the hospital around the
clock, K.M. said. On one of those days the women managed
to break away for a few hours, walked over to the gift
center and purchased wedding rings. They exchanged them
on Christmas day.
"It was the most significant time in our
relationship," said K.M. , a 42- year-old president of a
nonprofit organization. "We were having a family, and
were bringing our girls home."
During the next six years, the girls grew up in Marin
County surrounded by friends and family. They collected
American Girl dolls, watched the television show "Lizzie
McGuire" and called both women "momma." But by 2001, the
relationship had grown rocky and the birth mother, who
declined to be interviewed for this article, moved with
the twins to Massachusetts.
"Slowly but surely she began limiting my contact with
my daughters," K.M. said.
After she sued to be recognized as a legal parent and
lost, K.M.'s contact with her daughters was curtailed.
Her former partner, E.G., disconnected her phone in
Massachusetts, K.M. said. Even when she is allowed to
have brief visits with the girls, K.M. said, the
meetings are painful.
"From the moment we're together, we have to
anticipate saying goodbye," she said as her eyes welled
up with tears.
But the birth mother's attorney, Diana Richmond,
tells a different story. Richmond says that at least two
months prior to the pregnancy, E.G. and K.M. agreed that
her client would be the sole mother. During the trial in
Marin Superior Court, the birth mother testified: "I
told her that I would not be willing to consider an
adoption until five years after the children were born
because I didn't know her well enough. The relationship
was too young. I didn't want to be in a custody battle."
Richmond acknowledged that her client wants to limit
the relationship between K.M. and the twins, who will
turn 8 this month. K.M. has gone back on her word, the
lawyer said, and "there is no trust left."
In some ways, K.M. blames the clinic for the mess.
She says the couple's doctors knew they were in a
committed relationship, yet no one told her about the
waiver form or counseled her on its ramifications.
"Because my client is in a nontraditional
relationship, she wasn't the institutional center's idea
of a traditional parent," said Hersh, K.M.'s attorney.
"That's why we're here today."
Hersh argues that even if the law holds the consent
document as a binding contract, K.M. should share legal
rights because she helped raise the children from birth
until the breakup.
The National Center for Lesbian Rights agrees.
Lawyers for the organization have filed a legal brief
arguing on behalf of K.M.
"What governs the legal parentage of a child born as
a result of a medical procedure is the actual intent of
the people involved," said Courtney Joslin, an attorney
with the group.
She says the fact that K.M. remained in the home and
reared the girls wipes away any contract she may have
signed.
Cedars, who was not at the fertility center when the
women were patients there, said that even if K.M. had
signed away her rights to her children before they were
born, it only stands to reason that she would want those
rights back. It's not just a biological issue, she said,
but an emotional bonding. Cedars said that in the 2 1/2
years she has been at the clinic, it has not required
lesbian couples to sign the donor form that K.M. was
given. And if she had been there when K.M. and E.G. were
patients, she likely would have turned them away.
"I would have problems with a donor who signed away
her rights but had an intent to rear the children," she
said. "It's a disconnect. I think if it's your eggs and
you reared the child for nearly seven years, who can say
who has the greater legal bond."
Hersh says she's optimistic that the higher court
will rule in their favor.
"We're hoping the ruling advances the law so that the
children of gay families have the same legal protection
as the children of heterosexual families."
In the meantime, K.M. hopes for the best but is
prepared for the worst.
"I know that for nothing else the girls will turn 18
in 10 years, and I will keep this up until then," she
said. "I know that in their heart of hearts they know
that we will be reunited at some point."