|
Looking for a
Surrogate Mother or an egg donor?
This book
is a moving real-life account of one woman's struggle
with infertility and her journey through surrogacy to
have the family she desperately wanted.
Click here
for more details
Latest Surrogacy News
'He is my son, and
that's that'
Monday, 1 July, 2002
Linda Cohen was helped
by a surrogate mother
A new
study has found that women who have a child by using a
surrogate tend to be among the best mothers.
BBC
News Online's Richard Warry spoke to one woman who
found the whole experience to be one of the most
rewarding of her life.
For Linda
Cohen and her husband Neil, surrogacy was the last
option.
When the
couple found out they could not have a child of their
own together, they originally considered adoption.
However,
because they were Jewish they found that the
opportunities in this country were very limited.
No
adoption agency was happy to allow them to bring up a
non-Jewish child in the Jewish faith.
They
considered adoption abroad, but Linda was put off when
she was asked questions such as what sex of child do you
want, and how old do you want it to be.
"When you
are a childless couple who desperately want a child
questions like that are really irrelevant, and opting
for one excludes so many other opportunities," she said.
Ideal
candidate
The couple
eventually decided that surrogacy might be their best
bet.
They made
contact with the charity COTS (Childlessness Overcome
through Surrogacy), who put them in touch with a woman
who was prepared to act as a surrogate for the couple.
Initially,
phones calls were exchanged for a few weeks, but when
both parties met up for the first time in April 2000,
they found that they got on very well.
"She was a
wonderful, wonderful lady who was quite happy to help
us," said Linda.
After
about three meetings it was decided to press ahead.
"My
biggest concern was that the surrogate mother might not
hand over the baby at the end of it all," said Linda.
"But when
we discussed it, she laughed out loud and said her
biggest concern was that we would change our minds and
that she would literally be left holding the baby.
"If I had
not had total faith and confidence that she would give
us the baby I would not have gone ahead."
Pregnancy
Once the
surrogate had been impregnated with Mr Cohen's sperm,
the couple played a full part in the pregnancy.
They
visited monthly, and spoke more often on the phone. They
also attended scans, and took photos as the bump began
to grow.
Linda was
present at the birth, while her husband stayed behind to
look after the surrogate mother's two children.
"It was
just incredible to see him being born," said Linda, "I
actually cut the cord.
"It was an
amazing feeling after all those years of wanting a child
to all of a sudden see this little bundle that we were
responsible for. I was very emotional, very tearful."
The
Cohen's son Anthony is now nine months old. His mother
would not swap him for the world.
The couple
have stayed in regular contact with the surrogate, and
plan to tell Anthony about his biological mother when he
is older.
Recommendation
Linda said
she would recommend surrogacy to any woman who could not
have a child of her own.
"Surrogacy
is not right for everybody, but it does work, so long as
you are patient enough to wait until you find somebody
who you are comfortable with.
"It is no
good rushing into the process with the very first person
you meet."
People
sometimes ask Linda if she was jealous that another
woman carrying her husband's biological child.
She says
the thought never crossed her mind.
"I only
ever thought this lady is carrying our baby for us.
Anthony is our son and that's that."
back to top |
