My mother gave birth to my twins

February 18, 2004 Nation Features

Rhadha Patel gave birth to her daughter's babies last month.  She talked to Jo Knowsley at her home Gujarat, India, about the extraordinary experience of bearing her own grandchildren.

Eighteen years after she gave birth to the last of her four children, Rhadha Patel agreed to another pregnancy so that she could make her daughter Lata's life in Britain complete.

Her eyes welling with tears, 46-year-old Rhadha says: "These babies are a miracle and have brought so much joy to my family. My daughter Lata is so happy.

"I gave the babies to her and said, 'These are your children. I wish you all a long and happy life together'.

"I had had my doubts when I was first asked to do this. I thought it was against my Hindu beliefs. But my husband urged me to do it for the sake of our daughter.

"Some people may say that what I have done is wrong. But when I handed the twins to Lata, I knew it was the best thing I have ever done." 

The test-tube twins, Neal and Nandine, were born last month by Caesarean section in Gujarat, where their grandmother lives with her husband, Chandra. Rhadha had been implanted with embryos created from her daughter Lata's eggs, fertilised by her husband's sperm, at a private IVF clinic in the region. The birth made medical history but also prompted fierce debate about ethics of the procedure.

But 26-year-old beautician Lata, who flew to India from her home in Ilford, Essex, for the birth, and her husband, Aakash Nagla, 30, say they have every right to use science to produce their own children and can scarcely contain their delight.

Said Lata: "My mother has made my dream come true. I will never be able to thank her enough – never. It is simply a miracle and God has answered our prayers. We have been given two beautiful gifts."

Aakash, who works in a shoe shop, flew to India to join his new family after a week and fought back tears after seeing his son and daughter for the first time.

Without the babies, he said, his marriage might have ended because children were so important in the Asian community.

"Children keep parents together," he said. "When I found out four years ago that we could not have children, I broke down in tears. It put a very big strain on our marriage. There was a big risk we would not stay together."

Aakash said he and his family had been distraught when they learnt they could not have children naturally because Lata suffered from a rare genetic condition called Rokitansky Syndrome, which causes the uterus to develop abnormally. 

After marrying in 1999, they had desperately wanted a family. But efforts to find a surrogate in Britain and India had failed. Then Aakash's father, Natwarla, came up with the idea that Lata's mother might carry the babies. He travelled to India to persuade her and explain what this would entail.

His own wife, Vimala, 55, a nurse, had offered herself as surrogate but was ruled out on medical grounds.

Rhadha admitted that it had not been easy to overcome her cultural reluctance to carry her own grandchildren or to conquer the fear of how her actions would be perceived in the close-knit religious community in which she lives.

She said: "At 46, I thought that was it – that I had finished having children. So you can imagine what I thought when the idea was put to me. No woman can forget the pain of giving birth. I was hesitant. I thought it was crazy.

"But there was one person who gave me confidence – my husband, Chandra. He urged me to go ahead with the whole thing. He told me again and again that I would be helping our daughter to get the thing that meant the most to her.

"She had been so desperate to have children and they had tried everything in Britain. Coming to me seemed to be their last chance.

"Chandra said that we were all family, and as we were all so close and had so much love for one another, what would be the harm in bringing another member of the family into the world?"

But the first two embryos implanted in Rhadha's womb failed. Then in spring last year, after three further embryos were implanted, came success.

"Lata was told immediately that I was pregnant and she was so happy when we discovered it was twins – one of each sex," said Rhadha. "She began planning her home, and the room for the babies, in London.

"But I had to be very careful. Here in Gujarat I live in a very religious community. I wasn't sure what people would say if they knew the truth. I have two young daughters for whom I still have to find arranged marriage partners, and I could not risk the stigma of being seen to be a surrogate mother to my own daughter's children.

"When the first signs of pregnancy showed, I told people I had been overeating and was getting fat. We said Lata had become pregnant in London and was coming back to Gujarat to have her child.

"Then, for the last three months, when it would have been obvious I was pregnant because my tummy was getting very large, we moved to a secret address so that nobody would see me."

When the twins were born, Rhadha said, she could hear Lata weeping outside the delivery room.

"Lata heard the babies' first cries and outside I could hear her crying as well," she said.

"She has waited so long for this day – a day she thought she would never see. When she came into the room her eyes lit up and she was shaking with joy."

Rhadha said she had built up the mental strength to give up the babies – one of the reasons she was not breastfeeding them.

"I know they are not my children – they are Aakash's and Lata's," she said. "Lata took over caring for them immediately after the birth. But I am so happy to have given my daughter the thing that she wanted so badly. I have no regrets. I know they are going back to England but they are still my grandchildren."

Lata and Aakash plan to tell the children how they were created when they are 16 or 17. "I will tell them they are special babies who have so much love from their grandmother," said Lata.

"This is my dream come true at last. Aakash and I tried so hard in England to find a surrogate mother in the Asian community, but there is a stigma attached and all the agencies we spoke to could not locate an Asian woman who would do it. When my father-in-law suggested my mother, I wasn't sure what her reaction would be.

"She has been a very loving mother but this was asking a lot.

"I was overjoyed when she agreed but we still faced the trauma that comes with surrogate motherhood and planning the child."

Ethics groups, however, have expressed concern at the birth. Josephine Quintavalle of Comment on Reproductive Ethics said the case had "uncomfortable" aspects.

"It is not ideal for a grandmother to give birth to her grandchildren," she said. "The major issue is the confusion about social roles. A grandmother and mother have very distinct roles.

"We should always be looking at what is the ideal situation. Sometimes the best way forward is to accept infertility, as harsh as that sounds.

"There are millions of children around the world who want to be loved and adopted."

But Aakash said: "How can anybody say this is wrong when they look at how beautiful the children are? Science has helped to bring so much happiness into the world.

"Without their grandmother, they would not be here today. I was determined to have a baby and if this is what it took that was fine by me. Both our families agreed that giving life to children was more important than anybody else's thoughts.

"When I heard they had been born there were tears of joy rolling down my face.

"We sat down for a family meal and celebrated. When I saw their picture in the paper for the first time I just wanted to hold them. I just want to hold them for ever."

Aakash's mother, Vimala, said: "It is important for us for the baby to be born in your own blood rather than from somebody outside the community.

"I would have done anything so my son could be happy. But I could not carry the children because of blood pressure and other health problems. Our community can be backward and many people cannot understand what has been done. But all I wanted to know before I died was that Aakash and his wife would be together with their children. Now that will happen."

The procedure was defended by private fertility doctor Nayana Patel, who supervised the births.

She said: "Lata and Aakash wanted children so badly and could not find anyone to help. It struck me that one of the family could be a surrogate.

"When I first spoke to Lata's mother her reaction was one of horror. She said, 'What will people say? How can I deliver my son-in-law's baby?' But she agreed because she wanted to make her daughter happy. Now she is also very happy."

Surrogacy is legal in Britain, though it is illegal to pay more than basic expenses – up to £10,000 – to the surrogate.

Once the child is born, a Parent Responsibility Agreement can be entered into by the intended father with the surrogate mother, which gives them equal rights over the child.

After six weeks, the intended "parents" can apply for a Parental Order to give them full and permanent parental rights. At this stage the surrogate relinquishes all rights over the child.

Lata and Aakash face much red tape before they can bring their babies back to Britain, but hope to be home in eight weeks.

In the meantime, Aakash's mother and brother have begun painting the babies' nursery to welcome the children that Lata and Aakash feared they might never have.